ScreenGrabs: ‘Star Wars’ trailer shows Kim Kardashian how you really ‘Break the Internet’


“The force is strong in my family. My father has it. I have it. My sister has it. You have that power too.”

Battle destroyer ruins. Check!

Luke Skywalker voiceover. Check!

Darth Vader’s charred helmet. Check!

Luke Skywalker’s metal hand. Check!

Storm troopers. Check!

A new Sith Lord. Check!

Lightsabers. Check!

TIE Fighters. Check!

Oscar Isaac being a badass. Check!

Han and Chewie. Check!


And that’s how you break the internet! Well, this was a pleasant surprise. Although I’m a fan of the Star Wars movies, they’ve never ranked high among my favorite films of all time. In fact, other than The Empire Strikes Back, I don’t even consider them great films. They’re fun, and I love them for that precise reason. That being said, I wasn’t expecting a new trailer to drop today like many of the super-fans. But here it is.

While it’s still hard to decipher whether this movie will be more in line with the original trilogy or the newer ones from a decade ago (cringe), one thing’s certain: J.J. Abrams and company sure know how to cut a trailer. Yea, it looks like a Star Wars movie but more importantly, it also looks to have the energy and color palette of a J.J. Abrams movie (I’m looking at you, Mission: Impossible III). But you know what’s the best part of the trailer? No bloody lens flares! So thank you for your restraint, for now, J.J.  Anyway, watch the trailer again (as I’m sure you’ve already seen it a bunch of times by now) before I go into the meat and potatoes of each frame below.




The LucasFilm logo gets a spiffy makeover. The Disney logo, on the other hand, is nowhere to be found. A relief.


Like the first teaser trailer that debuted the day after Thanksgiving 2014, this trailer too begins with a pan across a desert landscape. But unlike that one, this shot reveals a history of battles won and lost. The ruins of an Imperial Star Destroyer and an X-wing fighter lie in the foreground and background as a hovercraft glides across the desolate landscape. Beautiful.


Arguably, the trailer’s money shot. The charred remains of Darth Vader’s helmet. Perhaps kept by Luke as a memorial? Or maybe stolen by a new enemy? Can’t wait.


Our first glimpse of R2-D2 and Luke (Mark Hamill). Well… at least Luke’s body and his prosthetic right hand. Seems like the two of them are still close as ever. Still no sign of C3PO anywhere in this trailer or the previous one.


Luke’s lightsaber? Or someone else’s. More importantly, one woman handing it off to another. Plenty of Star Wars nuts are losing their collective minds analyzing this still. It’s two women, not an alien being! Star Wars fanboys, please don’t lecture me if I’m not right. The less I know, the better. I’m happier that way before going in to the movie.


Another POV of the X-wing attack as seen in the first teaser trailer. There are a lot more of them than I initially thought.


Our second look at all-around badass (and probably my favorite working actor in Hollywood right now) Oscar Isaac (we saw him in a similar shot in the first teaser) who will be playing a character called Poe Dameron. Probably a stand-in for Han Solo in this new series, especially since Isaac recently described him as “the best pilot in the galaxy.” Going by the logo on his helmet, he’s definitely a good guy.


That darned cross-lightsaber is back! Our first glimpse of the Sith Lord in this trailer, wrecking havoc in battle, but against who though?


Our two heroes—Rey (Daisy Ridley) and Finn (John Boyega) on-screen together, and fleeing a TIE fighter (seen in the left background). The location seems to be the same planet as the second screenshot of the trailer. I already know what Boyega and the soccer ball robot are saying to each other, “Damn, that white girl can run!”


And here’s the face of what looks to be the film’s villain—the rejected third member of Daft Punk. “One more time…”


Ah, look… the Empire and the stormtroopers have decided to undergo some re-branding! It’s about time. With nipple pores too. Also, who’s the figure in black in front of the massive Nazi-esque flag? Probably Sauron.


A closer look at our protaganist, Rey. Just please, please, please, please be better than Hayden Christensen.


A modified TIE fighter on the attack. Hey Star Wars hardcores, is there any significance behind the design of these wings? If so, don’t tell me.


You know who’s having a bad day? This guy ^ right here. Looks like someone’s commandeered one of the TIE fighters and is wrecking havoc on a Star destroyer.


My bet is it’s this guy!


Speaking of Imperial Star Destroyers, here’s one actually at work.


And here’s the Boba Fett stand-in. Now that’s a great outfit. It probably cost a fortune.


Here’s another look at that soccer ball-looking robot. It looks cute but please don’t let it be this series’ Jar Jar or Ewoks. And is that the Millennium Falcon it’s on? Certainly looks like it.


Rey doing her best “heroic” pose. Or probably saying, “I have a bad feeling about this.”


“Come with me if you want to live.” Uh, sorry, wrong franchise, bro.
This just dawned on me: If these two are the leads, then it’s going to be the biggest movie of all time whose lead characters are a female and a minority. Yay! ::fingers crossed::


Millennium Falcon to TIE fighter: “Eat my dust, sucker!”


Yea, this is just… cool!


Did I mention how rad that outfit looks? Yea, I’ll say it again. Effin’ awesome!



“Chewie, we’re home!”
Annnnnd here’s this is where everyone begins to weep. Man, Harrison looks old. Oh God, something just hit me: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.


Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens opens worldwide on December 18, 2015.


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